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CHOOSE A JOKE

  • a good blond joke
  • Top 10 reasons
         Trick or Treating is
         better than Sex
  • Why it's great to be
         a guy
  • Real Ads
  • Chicken & the Horse
  • Business Joke
  •  
    WHY IT'S GREAT TO BE A GUY

    Phone conversations last 30 seconds

    You know useful stuff about tanks and airplanes

    A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase

    Bathroom lines are 80% shorter

    You can open all your own jars

    Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight

    When clicking thru the channels you don't have to stop on every shot of someone crying

    You don't have to lug a bag of "necessary" items with you everywhere you go

    You can go to the bathroom alone

    Your last name stays put

    You can leave a hotel room bed unmade

    You can kill your own food

    The garage is all yours

    You see the humor in "Terms of Endearment"

    You never have to clean the toilet

    You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes

    Wedding plans take care of themselves

    If someone forgets to invite you to something, they can still be your friend

    Your underwear costs $7.50 for a pack of 3

    None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry

    You don't have to shave below your neck

    You don't have to curl up next to some big, hairy guy every night

    If you're 34 and single, no one notices

    Chocolate is just another snack

    You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat

    Three pair of shoes are more than enough

    You can whip your shirt off on a hot day

    Car mechanics tell you the truth

    You don't give a rats ass if someone doesn't notice your new haircut

    You can watch a game in silence for hours without your buddy thinking, "He must be mad at me"

    One mood, all the time

    You can admire Clint Eastwood without having to starve yourself to look like him

    Same work........more pay

    Gray hair and wrinkles add character

    Wedding dress $2000, Tux rental 100 bucks

    You don't care if someone is talking behind your back

    If you retain water, it is in a canteen

    The remote is yours and yours alone

    You need not pretend you're "freshening up" when you go to the bathroom

    If you don't call your buddy when you said you would, he won't tell your friends you've changed

    If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies

    The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected

    If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room

    New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet

    You think the idea of punting that small, ankle-biting dog is funny

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