REAL ADS
1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer
AMANA WASHER $100. OWNED BY CLEAN BACHELOR
WHO SELDOM WASHED.
SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE...ONLY USED ON SNOWY
DAYS.
FREE PUPPIES...PART GERMAN SHEPHERD, PART DOG
2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES, 1 five-finger,
1 three-finger, PAIR: $15
TICKLE-ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX, COMES WITH IT'S
OWN 1988 MUSTANG, 5L, AUTO, EXCELLENT CONDITION $6800
TICKLE ME ELMO. NEW IN BOX. HARDLY TICKLED. $700
2 TINKLE ME ELMO DOLLS - BEST OFFER
BLACK FACE COWS, CALVES... ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.
'83 TOYOTA HUNCHBACK -- $2000
VALENTINES DAY SALE: TY-D-BOL BLUE TOSS-INS
STAR WARS JOB OF THE HUT -- $15
DO SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR YOUR VALENTINE -
HAVE YOUR SEPTIC TANK PUMPED.
FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL - 1/2 SNEAKY
NEIGHBOR DOG
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD. UNPLEASANT
LITTLE DOG.
GERMAN SHEPHARD. 85 lbs. NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN.
FREE.
FULL SIZED MATTRESS. 20 YR WARRANTY. LIKE NEW.
SLIGHT URINE SMELL.
FREE 1 CAN OF PORK & BEANS WITH PURCHASE OF
3 BR 2 BTH HOME.
FOR SALE: LEE MAJORS (6 MILLION DOLLAR MAN) - $50
CHARMIN ULTRA BATHROOM TISSUE - BONELESS
NORDIC TRACK $300 - HARDLY USED - CALL CHUBBIE at:
432-7762
BILL'S SEPTIC CLEANING - "WE HAUL AMERICAN
MADE PRODUCTS"
SHAKESPEARE'S PIZZA - FREE CHOPSTICKS
FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG...LOOKS LIKE A RAT...BEEN OUT
AWHILE...BETTER BE A REWARD.
HUMMELS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER - "IF IT'S IN STOCK,
WE HAVE IT!"
GET A LITTLE JOHN - THE TRAVELING URINAL -
HOLDS 2 1/2 BOTTLES OF BEER.
PRESIDENT'S CHOICE - COW MANURE - 2 33lb bags - $5
HARRISBURG POSTAL EMPLOYEES GUN CLUB
GEORGIA PEACHES - CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb.
CUTE KITTEN FOR SALE, 2 CENTS OR BEST OFFER
NICE PARACHUTE - NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE -
SLIGHTLY STAINED
WHIRLPOOL BUILT IN OVEN-FROST FREE!
BARBIE COUNTRY RIDE -- (note: most dolls cannot pedal the
bike).
'93 PONTIAC LEMONS - LOW MILES
FREE: FARM KITTENS. READY TO EAT.
FROZEN SOFT & GENTLE BATH TISSUE - 4 ROLLS 99 CENTS
AMERICAN FLAG - 60 STARS - POLAK WHO KNITTED INCLUDED - $100
KITTENS 8 WEEKS OLD - SEEKING GOOD CHRISTIAN HOME.
TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR?
WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS.
STARTING PAY: $7 - $9 PER HOUR.
NOTICE: TO PERSON OR PERSONS WHO TOOK THE
LARGE PUMPKIN ON HIGHWAY 87 NEAR SOUTHRIDGE STORAGE.
PLEASE RETURN THE PUMPKIN AND BE CHECKED. PUMPKIN
MAY BE RADIOACTIVE. ALL OTHER PLANTS IN VINCINITY
ARE DEAD.
THE MOST ROMANTIC LOVE SONGS OF THE '50s:
INCLUDING "16 TONS" BY TENNESSEE ERNIE FORD
EXERCISE EQUIPMENT QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS &
BOX SPRING - $175.
OUR SOFA SEATS THE WHOLE MOB - AND IT'S MADE OF
100% ITALIAN LEATHER.
JOINING NUDIST COLONY, MUST SELL WASHER &
DRYER - $300.
LAWYER SAYS CLIENT IS NOT THAT GUILTY.
ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER
CHICKEN & DUMPING DINNER TO BE HELD SATURDAY
SO FRENCH, AFTER ONE CUP YOU'LL WANT TO GO OUI, OUI.
GROUND BEAST: 99 cents lb.
GAS CLOUD CLEARS OUT TACO BELL.
BAR S SLICED BALOGNA - REGULAR OR TASTY - SAVE 30 CENTS ON 2
OPEN HOUSE - BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON -
FREE COFFEE & DONUTS
KELLOGG'S POT TARTS - $1.99 box
FULLY COOKED BONELESS SMOKED MAN - $2.09 lb.
